


The Beech Tree at Sudmoor Point

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amputee, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Getting Together, Hospitals, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Phan - Freeform, Recovery, mentions of injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-10-29 11:23:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20795858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Three years ago Phil was in an accident that changed his life and left him struggling to cope. It isn't until he is befriended by a handsome holidaymaker that he begins to realise that with a bit of courage, hard work and solid support he can begin to pick up the pieces of his broken mind and body. Things can never be as they were, but he can get his life back, perhaps witha new partner at his side.





	1. Chapter 1

Phil's life didn't end the day of the accident, but it sure felt like everything had been paused. One moment he was a professional film editor; saving up for his first house, scouting out the shelter for a dog, thinking of starting his own business, living life to the full, the next he spent his days moping around his parents' house not doing much of anything. He wasn't sure who to blame, the car crash wasn't his fault, his parents had been the ones who had invited him back home, but he had been the one who had just never left. It was easier than dealing with the truth and the daunting task of starting again. Here he could live in denial, and he wasn't sure if his parents had the heart to deny him that.

He tried to help out, he tried to have a purpose. He'd follow his mum around the garden potting plants and carrying bags of compost, but then his shoulder would play up and he'd trip over his foot and he'd go and hide in his room for the rest of the day feeling like a useless lump of nothing. They said some of the pain would go away, of course you can't replace a missing foot, but his shoulder and arm injuries were only supposed to be temporary, even if the surgical scars where permanent. 

Maybe he hadn't followed the physiotherapist instructions properly, maybe he hadn't tried hard enough, maybe he hadn't wanted to. He was thirty when the accident happened, he had his whole life ahead of him. Now he was only thirty-three but it felt so much different. Three years and everything had gone to shit, although the cause had happened in a matter of seconds. He should be getting married with a house a good job and making his parents proud, not living with them like an overgrown teenager. Why did it have to happen to him?

He hobbled towards the dining table, stack of plates in his hands, and began to lay them out as neatly as he could. His parents had gone to meet Martyn and Cornelia at the airport and he'd offered to make dinner. He wasn't sure why since he was bound to mess it up somehow. Maybe he was hoping that if he showed he was still capable of something then he might escape their pity for a little while. He bent down with a wince and pulled a slightly over crisped but otherwise decent looking lasagna out of the oven and placed it next to the plates with a dull thump. Before collapsing into a chair.

He badly wanted to pull his prosthetic off, it hurt like hell. He needed a new one they'd told him, something about how a maturing wound changes and the socket needed to be remoulded. They were expensive though, and he hadn't worked in three years, plus it wasn't like he had much reason to use it. His parents would foot the bill no questions asked but he already felt like he was taking advantage of them and he really didn't need more handouts. Perhaps if he was a better hopper things would be easier, although that definitely wasn't a long term solution.

The door opened and his family bundled inside, out of the harsh wind and damp air over the Isle of White. His brother greeted him cheerfully but Phil didn't miss the glance down to where hard plastic had replaced bone and flesh. He wished he'd yanked a shoe over it.

"Thank you Phil, this looks delicious," Kathryn said with a warm smile as they took off their coats and settled around the table, Phil could only grimace in response. A few years ago she probably would have teased him about being skimpy on the cheese or there being too many mushrooms, now every sentence was cautious and kind. He hated it.

He remained quiet for much of the night, barely looking up from the plate as he poked and prodded at the food. 

"You need to eat something sweetie," she said, leaning in as the other three were caught up in conversation. He resented being spoken to like a child, although he barely ate much anymore so she did have a point. She shoved in a mouthful just to satisfy her and limped over to the patio door to dump the rest outside for the seagulls.

His brother's eyes followed his laboured movements,

"Phil, you need to get that sorted. You're going to do yourself some serious damage. Get yourself one of those bionic ones or something, I'm sure we can find a bit of change." The table went quiet, his parents exchanged uneasy looks,

Phil rolled his eyes,

"Five grand isn't change and there's nothing that can be damaged that isn't already fucked up," he replied in a tired, monotone voice. Martyn frowned,

"Your body is healing better than you think, it's the wounds in your head that I'm worried about,"

"That's enough," his father said quickly, but it wasn't enough to stop Phil from sending a withering gaze his brother's way,

"Oh how poetic, still doesn't explain this bloody shoulder," he replied rubbing at the aching joint. Kathryn placed her hands down heavily on the table,

"Should we discuss something else," he said sternly. Martyn ignored her,

"You need to stop babying him," he said pointedly at his mother, "Come and live with me and Corn in London. You can see your old friends again, get out of the house once in a while,"

His father sighed and began to collect the empty dishes. This wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation.

"I don't want to go back to London, besides I don't have any money," he replied faintly. Martyn shrugged,

"You didn't hurt your brain in the crash, get a job. You know there's always one open at my place if you need it," he sighed. Even Cornelia took in a sharp intake of air.

Martyn was honest, and it was true. He hadn't even been knocked out in the crash. Still, he couldn't go back, he just couldn't. He only shook his head, eyes glued to the floor.

It was like they could never be normal anymore. He missed when the conversations where cheerful and his mum made too many cakes. He missed when he had his brother would talk about random crap and he'd desperately try to pitch terrible business plans. It was only ever like that now when he wasn't there, and he hadn't seen the rest of his family in years. He decided to give them some respite and got to his feet,

"I'm popping out, I'll be back later," he murmured heading for the hall. Martyn frowned and went to object but his father just quietly shook his head. He did this every night, they'd learned not to question it.

He took off his usual prosthetic and replaced it with his sports blade. His parents had given it to him for his last birthday when his Dad had tried to convince him to join the local tennis club with them. He'd declined, but took it out for a spin usual three or four times a week to avoid guilt and that seemed to be enough for them. It was a little comfier than his other foot, but was sometimes hard to balance on and was supposedly bad for his back, otherwise, he would wear it all the time. Unfortunately, he didn't need yet another part of him to get messed up, he was barely functioning as it was. 

His parents probably thought he went out to try drugs or something, maybe they thought he went to the pub down the road. He did neither of those things. Instead, he headed straight across the field towards the sea and to a rock underneath a twisted beech tree. He liked to sit and listen to the sound of the waves, it calmed his calamity filled mind for a little while. He won't watch the rhythmic pattern of the waves or observe the dancing gulls above his head. He needed the exercise and fresh air, plus some time on his own.

The sky was grey and cold so he pulled a scarf high against his jaw and hurried on his way. He still hasn't fully recovered from the best part of a year he spent in bed as they tried to fix him, although that wouldn't be the case if he'd bothered to stick to his exercise plan. He hadn't bothered to do anything since he left the hospital. It was like all of the motivation, self-confidence and resilience he had was torn away in the accident, and he couldn't seem to claw them back. By the time he could hear the gentle sounds of the sea, he was breathing heavily.

He paused at the crest of the hill, ocean sprawling out before him, cold and seemingly endless. Salt hung in the air and the smell of seaweed drifted around him. The leaves of his beech tree fluttered in the breeze and it's branches swayed. Somebody was in his spot. He narrowed his eyes at the dark shape perched atop the rock, staring mindlessly into the abyss of rolling water. He needed to sit down and he wasn't sitting on the floor, he'd never get back up.

It was a bit weird but he didn't care, he walked over to the rock and sat himself down next to the stranger, not meeting his eyes. He could feel him looking at him, a young man, in his late twenties probably. He had curly brown hair and out of the corner of his eye, he could see a pair of warm chocolate ones concentrated on him. They sat in a strange, uncomfortable silence for a little while before the other man cleared his throat,

"You're phone's falling out of your pocket," he said quietly. Phil reached down and plucked it from its precarious perch with a frown. He had two missed calls from his brother, not now. He murmured a quiet thanks.

"Are you waiting for me to leave? Because if you are I will," the man announced. His voice was deep and warm, he liked it. Phil shook his head,

"No, just trying to muster the energy to go back home. You nicked my brooding spot," he said with a hollow laugh. 

"I can leave if you'd like," the man replied in a voice that was barely a whisper. Phil shook his head,

"No, it's ok," 

The sun began to set and a dampness settled around them. Phil closed his eyes as the cool air stung his face. This was nice.

"It's going to rain," the man said looking up at the dark sky. Phil shrugged,

"It always rains," he replied with a sigh. Soon a single drop hit the rock, staining it black in the twilight. 

"You aren't wearing a coat,"

The bitter chill of the oncoming night gnawed at his skin and he pulled his thin jumper around himself. He'd been in a rush, foresight had never been his strongest skill. The man shivered and got to his feet,

"Be careful yeah," he said softly, before disappearing off into the night. Phil watched him go intently, it wasn't often he saw new people, especially not at this time of year. He wondered what he was up to, how he'd found Phil's beech tree.

The tide was completely in, lapping at the rocks and reflecting the full, silver moonlight. There was movement in the water, perhaps a seal or porpoise. An owl called from across the field and a fox stalked its way through the tall grass. He let out a deep breath, foxes always reminded him of London, of the life he left behind. They were nicer here though, less skinny, fluffier. It disappeared into the shadows and he was left alone. His phone was ringing again.

He let it ring out but reluctantly got to his feet, flexing his sore body carefully. Everything was so calm at night. There where no tourists running around with a bucket and spade, no cars screeching along the old roads, no boats sailing on the rough black sea. It was so dark the stars in the sky shone brightly, a carpet of twinkling lights from a million miles away. The lights to the house were on too. That meant someone was waiting up for him. He groaned, he just wanted to go to bed. He quietly opened the door and stepped in, not ready to face the questions he knew his brother would send his way.


	2. Chapter 2

The man was there the next day as well. He seemed somewhat surprised to see Phil as he struggled towards the tree against the blustering wind,

"You're wearing a coat today," he stated simply, "Good."

Phil nodded slowly, pulling the hood over his wind-ruffled hair. The sea was wild today, a mess of crashing waves and seafoam cascading across the beach. Sea-spray coated his hair and dried his lips. He ran his tongue over them, noting the salty residue it left behind.

"You on holiday?" He asked towards the man, curiosity overpowering his effort to remain stoic and silent. The man nodded. Phil hummed to himself,

"Not the best weather for it," he replied, attempting a humorous tone but it only came out flat.

"My parents insisted I came with them. I'd much rather have gone somewhere warmer," he other man said, a hint of a laugh on his lips. Phil nodded slowly.

"And you?" The man forced out, stumbling slightly over his words. Phil shook his head,

"No, I'm stuck here," he murmured.

Him being stuck was more of his own choosing, but sometimes this island felt like a prison to him. Maybe it would be easier if he could just move around the corner instead of feeling like he was completely separated from his parents. Across the Solent just felt too far for him.

"I'm Dan," the man announced suddenly. Phil liked that name, it suited him. He looked like a Dan, although he was a little unsure why the other man had decided to tell him that. He didn't usually introduce himself to strangers who lingered creepily by the see late in the evening, he was talking about himself, not Dan.

"I'm Phil," he replied quietly.

"What brings you here Phil," Dan said, shuffling closer so they could hear each other over the wind. Phil's eyes widened.

People never asked. They hurried past not meeting his eyes or didn't even notice him. The people who lived nearby knew to avoid him, they'd probably gotten sick if his self-pitying by now. Even his parents never really asked. He shrugged awkwardly,

"I need to get out of the house sometimes, it's calming out here," he murmured. Dan nodded,

"I get you, sometimes my family drives me mad. I just googled scenic spots near me and Sudmoor Point came up. I think I might have come a bit late though," Phil shook his head,

“No, this is just perfect,”

They sat in relative silence for a while, gazing down at the water. The rain held off but the wind was relentless. Clouds rolled in, dark and heavy. Had the tide been fully in the sea spray would have soaked them, and the crashing waves might have posed a real danger.

"Aren't your family worried about you?" Phil said suddenly, voice full of concern. Dan shook his head,

"They won't have noticed I've gone. I've spent the last week trying to avoid them," he said shaking his head gently,

"Don't like them or just people in general?" Phil said with a light laugh, "Because if it's that second one then I get you,"

Dan giggled and nodded his head,

"Yeah just people, funny I should run into you then," 

Phil let out a small huff of air in amusement,

"Yeah but that doesn't count. Like two introverts and you cancel one another out,"

Phil cleared his throat, shuffling slightly uncomfortably in his seat as Dan examined him,

"I like your jumper," he said eventually. Phil looked down where the hood of one of his pokemon jumpers was peeking out from his coat, he tucked it in subconsciously,

"Yeah Pokémon is totally acceptable for a thirty-three-year-old man to be wearing," he said with a sigh. Dan frowned,

"Your not thirty-three," he exclaimed. Phil nodded, somewhat sadly,

"Yup, I'm getting old," 

Dan paused for a moment before shrugging,

"That's not old, besides you really don't look it. Also, Pokémon is appropriate for everyone. I'm twenty-eight and I still play it so don't give me that,"

Phil rolled his eyes,

"I've known you for like ten minutes and you're already getting bossy, and ok Pokémon is awesome,"

A jolt went down his chest and the briefest of smiled that had threatened to grace his lips disappeared in a moment's. When was the last time he enjoyed playing a video game or watching his favourite shows? They used to make him so happy. Dan's brows furrowed,

"Hey, what's up? You look like you're about to cry," he said gently. Phil straightened up,

"Sorry, maybe I do need a good cry," he replied nervously, reaching up to wipe his eyes. Dan looked unsure of what to do,

"I'm sorry, was it the Pokémon thing or... .?" 

Phil swatted the question away,

"No no, it wasn't you. It's just stuff," he replied with a defeated smile. Dan reached over and rubbed his arm sympathetically,

"It's ok, I need a cry sometimes as well. I was looking at a picture of a dog the other day and it was so cute I just burst into tears. What makes you cry?"

Phil raised an eyebrow at him.

"This is a deep conversation to be having with a stranger sat on a rock at eleven at night," 

Dan let out a light laugh. It was nice, warm and soft. It made his stomach flip and a warm feeling settled within him. He wished he could hear it again. Wow, maybe he needed to leave the house more,

"We aren't strangers. My name's Dan, yours is Phil. I'm on holiday with my family, you live here. I'm twenty-eight, your thirty-three and we both like Pokémon. If you don't want to tell me what makes you cry, tell me something about yourself," he said determinedly. Phil smiled, ever so slightly.

"Why do you want to know about me?"

Dan shrugged,

"Because you're interesting,"

"I'm not interesting," he replied quietly. 

"You're better than my family. Go on, tell me something,"

Phil thought for a moment. He wasn't interesting, not in the slightest. He didn't have any hobbies, nothing about him was special. Everything else just sounded do boring or desperately pathetic.

"I have a degree in Language and Linguistics and a master's in video post-production with visual effects," he said after a pause, it's a fact but it isn't very exciting. Dan scoffed,

"What do you mean that it isn't very exciting, that sounds awesome. Do you work on films and stuff? What are you doing in this dump (no offence)?"

Phil gave him a sad smile,

"I used to, I lived in London for a while, but not anymore. No, no not anymore,"

Dan nodded listening intently,

"It's funny you should say that I live in London now. I love it, it's so much better than where I grew up,"

Phil cocked his head to the side,

"Where did you grow up?"

"Reading, a complete and utter shithole it was. I'm thrilled to be rid of the place. Did you grow up here?"

Phil wasn't sure why he was answering these questions. He kept himself to himself these days, but he supposed it couldn't hurt. It wasn't like he was likely to ever see this guy again.

"No I grew up in Rawnstall, it's near Manchester. I liked it there, it was nice,"

"I went to uni in Manchester," Dan replied with a thoughtful hum.

"What were you studying?"

Phil's questions where a lot less confident than Dan's, barely audible above the wind. It had been a while since he'd spoken to anyone who didn't look at him with that condescending, pitying look, or a look of worry and annoyance. To anyone who actually let him ask questions,

"Law," Dan sighed with a grimace,

"Oh, so you're a Lawyer?"

Dan let out a harsh laugh which caused Phil to jump,

"Haha, not a chance I quit in my second year, couldn't deal with it. Now I work in a shop, it's not anything that my parents are proud of but it's something,"

"You're doing better than me," the older man replied, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Dan crossed his arms,

"Yeah sure I am Mr Academically gifted, at least you have a degree,"

Phil shrugged,

"Yeah well I'm not using it, I don't even have a job and I live with my parents. I'm sure they're thrilled to bits," he said, bitter tone edging its way into his voice. Why was he telling this to this person he had barely met. Poor guy didn't need Phil dumping all of his life problems on him.

"Why's that, the film industry not very stable or something?" Dan asked, sounding genuinely curious. Phil didn't want to tell him, they always acted differently when he told them,

"I just had to come home, and haven't had the heart to go back. It's stupid really. I used to love coming here, now I hate it, but the idea of leaving really scares me," 

He wished he hadn't said that now he wanted to cry. Dan was silent, unsure of what to say. Eventually, he opened his mouth, although it took a moment for anything to come out,

"Maybe you could get a job on the island, there must be one or two for someone as skilled as you," he announced, although the tone he was using suggested that he knew that wasn't a particularly helpful idea,

"I tried, a while back. Things got in the way though and I couldn't go through with it. Probably tarnished my reputation a little," he said with a strained laugh. He had tried, he'd tried so hard, and then he'd failed, so he'd given up. Giving up was easier than accepting something was wrong, even if everybody knew the problem.

"Ah, that sucks,"

A seagull padded along the beach by itself. The rest of the colony had long since retreated to their nests on the cliff face, but it remained. Small blemishes in the smooth sand were all that it left behind as it searched amongst the seaweed. Its feathers were puffed up and rustled by the heavy wind. It swayed from side to side, but never fell despite its petite size.

"I have to go," Dan said quietly. He looked, disappointed? "I'll see you tomorrow though?" 

Phil nodded with a small smile and waved timidly as he made his way back along the coast and towards civilisation. Once the younger man was out of eyeshot, he began the walk back home. He'd been out longer than usual, he was cold. Yesterday his Martyn had pestered him for an hour or so about where he'd been, Phil hadn't told him. It wasn't like he was meaning to be secretive, he was just sick of having to disclose every aspect of his life to anyone he was even remotely close to. His parents, the psychiatrist they made him see, his doctor and now his brother.

His mum was the only one downstairs when he got back,

"You were gone a while," she said softly, "Feeling ok?"

Phil nodded,

"I'm fine Mum, is the heating on? I'm freezing,"

Kathryn gave him a concerned look,

"You haven't been outside all this time have you?" She reached forward to feel his hands and tutted quietly to himself, "Aww dear you're like ice, you need to take care of yourself Phil. Go get changed, your damp,"

Phil rolled his eyes,

"It wasn't raining, and I'm going to bed anyway. My hands are always cold,"

"No, let's get you warmed up first, I'll make you a drink. Sit next to the radiator,"

"I'm not a kid Mum," Phil snapped, immediately feeling guilty. "Just let me go to bed, I'm not going to fall apart just because I'm a little cold. See you in the morning,"

He was half expecting to run into his Dad or Martyn on the stairs, but it seemed they had all gone to bed. He brushed his teeth and took out his contact lenses, running his fingers over the dark circles beneath his eyes. Urgh, he looked like such a mess, and he really needed a haircut. It was a good thing it was pretty much dark when he met Dan or else the other man would have gone running the other way. 

He hoped he would see Dan again tomorrow, he was nice. Talking to him was just easy. He was sweet. It was a shame he wasn't staying here for long, maybe if he lived here they could have been friends, then again if he lived here he would probably know. The only reason he spoke to Phil the way he did, so normally, was because he didn't know. He just had to keep it that way, if they ever met again.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan was there the next day, and the day after. They spoke about this and that, and Phil found himself starting to really miss the company of others when he was alone. It was the first time he had a friend, somebody to confide in who didn't just chalk every issue he had down to the accident. He liked the ease of just idle chatter with someone. He learned lots of silly things, like how Dan's parents had a dog called Collin and how Dan's childhood obsession was Winnie the Pooh. With each visit, he wanted to know more, and Dan seemed to feel the same way.

On the fifth day, Dan wasn't there, and Phil felt a sinking feeling in his chest. Dan was on holiday and possibly going home now. There was no way on earth he would want to spend an hour or two late at night on some random rock talking to a stranger for the faith day in a row. That was just ridiculous. He let his shoulders droop and a frown settled on his face. He needed some new friends, it was just a shame Dan hadn't been able to stick around. They just seemed to fit, their hobbies and interests were similar, their senses of humour as well. He was going to miss him.

He had resigned himself to the fact that Dan wasn't coming back when footsteps caused his head to jolt up. A grin spread across his face,

"Dan!" He said, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, "You're late,"

Dan wheezed for a moment, doubled over as he tried to catch his breath. It seemed he wanted to get there in a hurry,

"Sorry, I was packing and didn't want to miss you. I'm going home tomorrow, I just wanted to give you my phone number. I like talking to you, I hope that's not weird,"

If Phil was trying to act cool then he was definitely failing. He had the biggest, most shit-eating grin on his face,

"Of course it isn't weird, I like talking to you too,"

He tapped his pocket for his phone but swore quietly to himself when he remembered that he had left it at home,

"Shit, I forgot my phone, do you have any paper?"

They both rummaged in their pockets for a moment, before Phil located a crumpled post-it note and Dan by some miracle a pencil that he just happened to have on him. He quickly scribbled down his number and handed it back to Phil,

"Well I guess I better be going, you better call me. I'll be annoyed that you made me run all that way if you don't," he exclaimed, voice humorous but with a hint of sincerity. Phil chuckled quietly,

"Don't worry, I won't forget. Farewell, for now, Daniel, until we meet again,"

Dan laughed and nodded,

"Until we meet again," he replied softly.

Phil was sad to see him go. There was a high chance they would never see each other again, but he could still drop a text every now and again. It was better than not knowing, he held the number close to his chest. It was calmer than usual, the sky was a dark blue and the sound of the waves was soothing. He almost felt as though he could curl up and go to sleep, although it would look pretty odd in the morning.

Suddenly there was a noise behind him and he spun around with a jump, to see his brother standing there,

"Jesus Martyn, you scared the life out of me," he exclaimed, holding his hand to his chest. Martyn's brows were etched into a deep frown,

"Who was that man? What did he give you? It better not be drugs,"

Phil gave him an unimpressed look,

"God no. That was just Dan, I met him a couple of days ago, he's here on holiday, we've just been having a chat. I'm not a child Martyn"

Martyn scoffed,

"Bullshit, I haven't seen you smile like that in years, your on something. Show me what he gave you, now," he demanded. Phil closed his hand tightly around the paper,

"No, it's none of your business,"

Martyn darted forward and quite forcibly opened up his palm and took the piece of paper out, holding on tightly to Phil's wrist. Phil tried to pull away but it only tightening,

"Get off, what's wrong with you," he hissed. Martyn examined the paper, confusion etched across his face,

"It's a Phone number," he stated blankly. Phil rolled his eyes,

"Yeah, I know that asshole,"

"Why would that 'Dan' give you his phone number?"

"Because we're friends and he's leaving. Why is this so important to you?"

Martyn let go of his wrist and Phil pulled it in, rubbing at the sore skin,

"I bet you've given me a fucking bruise," he groaned, "Why are you here?"

Martyn crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow,

“Because I’m worried about you. I thought by now you’d be . . .” he trailed off, Phil sent him a withering look,

“What, that I’d be over it? That I’d actually be getting on with my life, because me too Martyn, me too. I’ve tried, I’ve really tried,”

His brother shook his head,

“I don’t think you have Phil. Before it happened you could get through anything with a smile on your face, you were literally the happiest and most upbeat person I have ever met. If you wanted something you went for it, why has that changed? I know you got hurt, but so do plenty of other people and they don’t spend the rest of their lives wallowing in self-pity. What happened, it was bad I get that, but you can’t let it control you,”

Phil let out a deep sigh,

“I just feel like everybody treats me differently. I can't stand it, I want it to go back to how it was,”

“It can’t Phil, you know it can’t. Maybe the only reason you think people treat you differently is because you treat others differently. You’re quite frankly depressing to be around, It’s all in your head,”

Phil spressed his lips together tightly and looked away,

“I don’t want to talk about this now Martyn, I’m not in the mood,"

Martyn smirked,

“You did seem to be in the mood earlier when you were talking to ‘Dan’,”

Phil punched him lightly on the shoulder,

“One; I don’t know what you're talking about, and two; why do you keep saying his name like that,” He replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Martyn laughed,

“Oh come on, you haven’t shown that much interest in anything for a while. What do you think, should we be expecting wedding bells any time soon?” he said, voice turning from serious to joking in less than a few seconds. Phil shook his head,

“We’re just friends, besides I barely know him. Plus he probably doesn’t even like guys,” He sighed.

“He liked you enough to give you his phone number, that’s something,”

Phil shrugged,

Maybe, I don’t know,” his eyes were glued to the floor. He didn’t feel like he should be having this conversation right now. Why did his brother have to always get involved with everything he did. He was very much capable of doing it by himself, it was his life after all.

“Oh cheer up. How did you two meet anyway?”

“I just came up here like usually do and he was there, so we got talking,”

Martyn frowned,

“Why do you come here, it’s not exactly the most interesting place. Why not go to the pub or something,”

Phil crossed his arms,

“It is interesting, it’s pretty. The pubs too loud, I prefer to have some time alone,”

“As if you don’t spend most of the day hiding away in the house,”

“RIght I know you’re going for the brutal honesty approach but can you maybe tone it down a little,” he snapped. Martyn looked a little guilty,

“Sorry, got a bit carried away, seriously though, why do you come out here?”

“The sea is nice to listen to, and sometimes I see a seal or something in the water. I like it when it gets dark, it never gets properly dark in London,”

Martyn sighed,

“But you don’t live in London, you haven’t for three years. Come back with me, you don’t have to stay for long, maybe you'll find you like it there,”

Phil shook his head,

“What if I see the house I was going to buy or a friend I don’t talk to anymore? I don't think . . . I don't think I can do that,”

Martyn rubbed his hand gently,

“Yes, you can. You don’t even have to leave the house. Maybe you can help me out with my company for a bit, do some editing. It will be good for you,”

Phil shook his head adamantly, “No, not now,”

Martyn sighed,

“Ok, but think about it yeah?”

The first thing Phil did when he got home was to run (well hobble) up to his room. He was tired, both physically and mentally. He loved his brother, he really did, but sometimes he just didn’t know when to stop. He knew it would only get worse. The longer he stayed here, the less chance there was of him ever leaving. How would he manage with that? He’d never get a boyfriend, who would want to get with a thirty-three-year-old man who still lived with his parents? It was stupid. He wished he could get a dog, he could do with the company.

He rummaged around for a bit and pulled out his phone, quickly saving Dan’s number onto it. He went to type his first text but paused. Was it too soon, would it come across as too desperate? Was dan only giving him his number out of politeness, what if he didn’t really want to talk? It wasn’t as if they knew each other particularly well, and the conditions in which they had met had been an odd one. Maybe he was getting his hopes up, maybe he didn’t really have a new friend.

He began to think back to what Martyn had said. He wondered if he would ever have a chance. He didn’t have any intentions of asking him out or even admitting he was gay, he’d been pretty open since he was a teenager but it sometimes made things . . . weird. Why had his brother put that idea in his head, damn him. He kicked his shoe off and laid back against the headboard with a sigh, grimacing as a pang of pain shot up his shoulder. It had been getting worse lately, surely that was the opposite of what was supposed to happen?

Eventually, he took in a deep breath and picked up his phone, wondering what he should type. He didn’t want to seem desperate or weird, just a simple message would do. That was easier said than done though. It took about three attempts for him to come to one he was happy with.

_Hi Dan, it’s Phil. Hope you get home safe :)_

He turned off his phone and set it carefully on his nightstand, knowing full well that if he kept looking at it then he would drive himself crazy. It was only a moment before it buzzed. He frowned and picked it up, that was fast.

_You remembered_


	4. Chapter 4

Kathryn’s eyes followed Phil as he hobbled around the kitchen, making himself a bowl of perhaps the most unhealthy cereals he could find. They were narrowed, watching him like a hawk does a mouse in the undergrowth. Phil could feel them burning into his neck, he ignored them best he could.

“Philip!” she announced. Phil rolled his eyes,

“Yes Mum,” he replied, sharp tone to his voice,

“What’s going on with you?” he said suspiciously. Phil shrugged,

“I don’t know what you mean,”

“You’re always smiling down at your phone with that silly grin on your face, and you’ve been,” she paused briefly, “Different,”

Phil sighed,

“How so?”

“You’re more tolerable,”

Phil let out a sharp laugh,

“Thanks, Mum. And that's a bad thing because?”

She shrugged,

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing, I just want to know what has caused it,”

Phil shook his head gently, he didn’t really want to tell her,

“It’s nothing, I was just looking at cute pictures of dogs,”

He took his cereal bowl and disappeared upstairs, away from her scrutinizing gaze. It had been a week since Dan left, and although he missed him physically being there, they tended to message each other a lot throughout the day. Dan would often complain about how bored he was (his boss was on holiday so he was manning the shop by himself) and it wasn’t as though Phil had much else to keep him occupied. Their conversation flowed well, and Phil found himself wanting to share every exciting thing that happened to him with the other man.

_Urgh this old lady just came in and dropped a fucking plant, then she wanted a discount on it because one of the stems was broken smh_

Phil smiled to himself,

_I didn’t know your shop sold plants??_

_Yeah, my boss had half of it decked out like a florist, it’s pretty cool actually. You should come visit ;)_

Phil felt a dull ache in his chest,

_I wish I could_

Dan didn’t reply for a moment, then his phone screen lit up. Phil pressed accept almost immediately and Dan’s voice came over the line. He sounded tired,

“Hey Dan,”

“Hey Phil,”

“I thought you were working,”

Dan chuckled softly on the other end of the line,

“There’s nobody here, and if a customer comes in I’ll just pretend I’m on the phone to a supplier or something. I apologise in advance if I suddenly start arguing over the price of soil or some shit like that,”

“How does that place even make any money?” Phil replied, sitting down on his bed. Dan laughed again,

“Beats me, but as long as I have a job I don’t care. Seriously, you should come and visit,”

Phil sighed,

“I can’t be dealing with London, it stresses me out,” he said, trying to keep his voice light. Dan saw straight through it.

“Didn’t you used to live here? Come on, it changes so much, don’t you want to come and visit, you can crash at my place if you’d like,”

Phil raised an eyebrow,

“It’s a bit early for that now, someone's eager,”

He could sense Dan stumbling over the words he was about to stay,

“Look, Phil, I don’t have many friends and you’ve been mine for like two weeks now. That's like a damn record for me, you best be prepared for the fact that I will get far too attached,”

Phil laughed softly,

“I’m not going anywhere Dan. I’ll think about it, you should come back up here. In the summer though, when it’s nicer,”

Dan hummed quietly,  
“Yeah, I would like that. I’ll have to a bit of saving up though. Living in London is so expensive, actually, I get why you left,”

Suddenly there was a noise on the other end of the line and Dan pulled the phone away from his face to talk with somebody else, voice suddenly becoming muffled

“Right Phil, I’ve got to go. Talk to you at the usual time yeah?”

Phil nodded briefly, before realising that Dan most definitely couldn’t see him,

“Ok, have a nice day. Talk to you later,” he said, smile creeping its way onto his face. He put the phone down, wishing Dan could have stayed for longer. There was knock on his door,

“Phil dear, you have an appointment at the hospital today. Do you want me to drive you?”

Phil groaned pressing his head against the wall, shit.

“What time is it at?” he called. He could almost sense the disapproval on her face,

“One o’clock Phil, you need to remember these things,”

He checked the time, it was only ten,

“It’s ok Mum, I’ll walk,”

It was blustery out, but much better than it had been the last few weeks. The main road was quiet, only the occasional car whizzing past kicking up a fine spray of mist. He pulled his coat high around his shoulders, eyes glued to the ground. It wasn’t far, but he dreaded the journey. He had to go in every couple of months for them to check everything. He thought it was ridiculous after so long but they insisted. It wasn’t as if he had any excuse for not turning up. When he walked into town he could hear the bustling of people as they fought to get out of the rain, one man rushed past, barging into his shoulder. He had to hold back a yep as pain shot down his arm.

He held his shoulder gingerly and turned a corner to the clinic. When he had eventually checked in and sat down in the waiting room, the pain had subsided substantially, but it was still tender. He could have said excuse me. It was grey and dark in the room. A few people were scattered around on the faded lilac chairs, miserable-looking as ever, some coughed, some held snotty looking children, some were old and frail. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, hoping that soon his name would be called out. A small child broke away from his mother and ran up to him,

Phil gave him a faint smile, pulling out his phone to give him some distraction. The boy ran forward and poked his shirt, causing him to jump,

“Dog,” he said with a laugh. Phil looked down, he’d put on his corgi shirt today. He nodded,

“Yes dog, that's a corgi,”

The boy laughed and clapped his hands together,

“Orgi!” he said with the biggest grin on his face, sounding delighted.

His mum smiled apologetically and dragged him away, scolding him gently for talking to strangers. Phil couldn’t help the small, but genuine smile that crept onto his face. He couldn’t wait to tell Dan about that later. Soon the receptionist had called his name and he was sat in the doctor's office, trying to stop the shivers that ran down his spine every time his eyes landed on something medical looking. He hated hospitals.

Doctor Parsons was nice, he was really nice but that didn’t mean Phil particularly liked him. He felt guilty, but he just associated him with bad things. He had a polite smile, and greeted Phil enthusiastically,

“Hi there, how’s it going Mr Lester?”

Phil forced a smile and nodded,

“I’m doing good,” he replied, not meeting his eyes. Dr Parsons seemed a little put off by his response, or rather the way he delivered it.

“You haven't had any problems, not been feeling any pain?”

Phil sighed,

“Well my foot hurts, and my shoulders playing up really bad,”

The doctor nodded, listening intently,

“Well I know what’s causing your foot pains, it’s that old prosthetic of yours, but your shoulder does sound concerning. Has it been getting worse?”

Phil nodded, resisting the urge to reach up and touch it.

“Ok, pull up your sleeve, I’ll have a look,”

He felt around, pressing on certain points causing Phil to wince,

“Well something is a bit off, I’ll get you an x-ray,”

Phil nodded somewhat reluctantly, to be honest he'd much rather go home. He got sent to wait in the waiting room and found himself to be actually disappointed that the kid and his mum had gone He pulled out his phone and texted Dan.

_I’m stuck in a waiting room, it’s so boring :(_

He tried not to feel disappointed when the text wasn’t immediately seen. He shoved his phone in his pocket and crossed his arms, eyes scanning the poster covered walls. Most were warning about this and that, how smoking kills and alcohol will give you cancer, all quite depressing. He picked up the stack of magazines that sat on the nearest table, and flicked through them until he found a British Wildlife one which was the only one that looked even remotely readable. He flicked through it, avoiding the urge to coo at fawns and red squirrels. After maybe half an hour a nurse came in and called him to follow her.

After spending about fifteen minutes having his shoulder pulled and pushed in different directions before leaving the x-ray room, cradling his sore shoulder and resenting ever bringing the issue up. He should have just taken some ibuprofen and hope it would get better on its own. Dan still hadn’t texted him back, Phil was being far too clingy. The younger man had a job and other responsibilities, Phil couldn’t just expect him to drop everything to text him just because he was a little nervous.it would help pass the time a little better though.

When Doctor Parsons called him back in he had a deep frown on his face. Phil knew something was wrong,

“One of the plates in your shoulder has come loose, you’re going to need surgery to fix it," he said seriously. Phil wanted to scream, he was sick of this,

"I don't want to go I'm for another surgery, I can't stand them,"

Doctor Parsons nodded,

"I understand the frustration, you have been through a lot, but it would be quite a minor surgery. Just get in, tighten up the screws and get it back into position and then stitch you up. If it hasn't fused with too much cartilage then they might just take it out together. I'm not sure, it's not really my area of expertise,"

"What if I didn't have the surgery," Phil asked tiredly. The doctor shrugged,

"It will save you a lot of pain, maybe further issues down the line. I can't see why you wouldn't want to have it. I'll book you in for it as soon as possible,"

Phil shook his head,

"No, can I have a think about it first?"

The doctor frowned,

"This is the exact same thing as with your foot, if you don't do something about it, it will only get worse. You need to take care of yourself, you're going to end up with some pretty permanent injuries,"

Phil nodded reluctantly,

“Yeah ok, but can I still think about it?”

Doctor Parsons eventually just gave in, but only on the condition that he booked another appointment for next week to see if it had improved or if Phil decided he wanted to go through with the surgery. He had all intentions of just walking out of the clinic without bothering, but the receptionist called him over and very forcibly booked him a follow up. She’d been warned.

He hobbled around the corner to Starbucks and put in his usual order. He didn’t want to walk home yet, his leg was already hurting. He should have just sucked it up and accepted his Mum’s offer, then again if he did that she’d know about his dodgy shoulder. He didn’t want surgery again, it was always such a pain. He’d gone almost a year without needing anything serious doing, if they were the ones who screwed it up in the first place, why should he trust them again? He sat down at the nearest table cradling his coffee, he really Dan would text me back. He took a sip and grimaced, it left a foul and bitter taste in his mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, ok, so my rats decided that they like running on my keyboard and I left my document open for like ten minutes to find half of it deleted and like two pages of happy key smashes. I blame them for all mistakes, direct any complaints to them.

“What were you in the waiting room for?” was the first thing Dan announced after he answered the phone. Phil chuckled,

“And hello to you too,” he said softly.

“Tell me,” Dan whined. Phil shook his head fondly,

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because you said it before and now I’m curious,”

Phil shrugged,

“You still left me alone to be bored and lonely though,” he replied dramatically. He could almost hear Dan rolling his eyes,

“I had work to do, I can’t come to your every beck and call,”

Phil sniffed,

“I know, but that won’t stop me from resenting you for it,”

“Oi, stop getting all clingy and answer my question,”

Phil bit his lip. There was no harm in telling him, he didn’t have to stay what the cause of his medical problem where. Also, he did want to talk to somebody about it. He really didn’t know if he would bother with the surgery, he would rather just put up with the pain in his shoulder. If he brought it up to his parents they would probably make him have it, he needed somebody else's opinion.

“I was at the doctor's, I need to have surgery on my shoulder, but I don’t really want it done,” He sighed. Dan paused for a moment,

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, why don't you want it done?”

Phil leant back, looking at the star-studded sky and the grey clouds swirling far above him. A black silhouette was outlined against one of them, a seagull that had failed to make it back to shore in time for the evening.

“I don’t really like hospitals, I just feel like it isn’t worth it”

“Why do you need the surgery, are you in pain?”

He sounded worried, Phil didn’t like him sounding worried,

“No, not really, there’s just something up with cartilage or some shit like that,”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before,”

Phil hummed quietly,

“I don’t usually swear around other people,”

“Anyway, back to this surgery,” Dn said suddenly, “Isn’t it best if you just get it over with. Also, you were limping when we first met, are you ok now?”

A chill ran down Phil’s back,

“Huh, I didn't think you’d notice, yeah that's fine now,”

What a colossal lie that was, it wasn't better in the slightest. There was the briefest rise of guilt in his chest, but it was quickly quashed by the relief that he hadn't noticed the extent of it. It must have been really dark, there was a metal stick where his foot was supposed to be.

“How’s your day been?”

Dan sighed,

“Long, long and boring,” he replied tiredly, “When my boss gets back I’m going to take a loooong holiday,”

Phil laughed,

“Haven’t you just been on holiday?”

Dan groaned,

“That didn't count, I was with my parents, they’re exhausting!”

“Yeah, but still,”

“Ok, I’ll have to wait a few months, but once I can get away with it I’m off,”

Phil shook his head fondly,

“Where do you think you’re going to go?”

Dan hummed thoughtfully,

“I’m not sure, somewhere warm maybe? I’ve always wanted to go to Japan, but that's a bit out of my budget. Maybe I should come and visit you,”

A smile caught the edge of Phil’ lips, but he shook his head, although more to himself than anything,

“Don’t waste your time and money, it’s nice, but not worth sacrificing a trip to like France or something. You need to enjoy your holidays! You’ll be wanting to tear your eyes out after spending ten minutes with me anyway,” he said with a forced laugh.

“Hey!” Dan replied almost immediately, “Don’t put yourself down like that, or where you live. You’re just used to it because you live there, to everybody else it is a very lovely place. I could try and pursue my dreams of being a landscape photographer,”

“You dream is being a landscape photographer?”

Dan scoffed,

“God no, I was only trying to make a point. I always wanted to be an actor. When I was little I was always in the school plays or dance around wearing silly wigs,”

“Aww,” Phil cooed, “That’s so sweet. You could always try, I’m sure you’d get a part, you're certainly easy on the eyes,”

He held his breath, yeah he probably shouldn't have said that. Dan was bound to be creeped out. If the younger man had heard him then he didn't react, and just sighed after a moment,

“No, I think it’s a bit late for me now. What would be your dream job?”

Phil shrugged, unsure how to feel,

“When I was little I always wanted to be a weatherman, I think now I’d quite like to be a director. Although just getting back to editing would be enough for me, that’s what I used to do,”

“What’s holding you back? You should go for it!”

Phil huffed,

“As much as I enjoy your efforts to be motivational, I just can’t at the moment. It’s frustrating”

“Is it something to do with your shoulder, because you do need to get that fixed, If your doctor said you need surgery, he probably knows what he’s talking about,”

Phil bit his lip,

“I’ll think about it,” he replied quietly, “What are you up to now?”

Dan went on for about half an hour, just wittering about his day, favourite movies and video games. Phil was content to listen. Dan was calming, and his voice was nice to listen to. His eyes flicked idly of over the crashing waves. The ground here was soft and prone to erosion, a small piece had already been chipped away by the harsh sea. It wasn’t anything like up north, where the water was murky brown and the currents would carry you away in a heartbeat, but it was strong enough.

He spotted movement, and a hare’s ears appeared from the grass. It’s wide, brown eyes stared straight ahead and it was tense, ready to flee at any moment. Its ears swivelled, and as Phil shifted slightly it tensed, before darting away into the grass. He didn’t usually see them so close to the beach.

“Hello, you still there?”

Phil snapped out of his trance,

“Yeah sorry, I was looking at a hare,” he said quietly,

“Phew, I thought you’d abandoned me. I'm jealous, I’ve never seen a hare before. All there is here are pigeons and foxes,”

Phil laughed softly,

“We get them here as well, although they don’t look so depressed,”

Dan giggled,

“Yeah well, I guess they eat proper food rather than going through the rubbish bins. And they probably don’t get hit by busses half as much,”

“Probably,”

It was getting cold and he didn’t want to disturb anybody when he got back in, he probably had to go,

“I better go Dan, I’ll talk to you tomorrow,”

Dan gasped,

“Oh, sorry Phil, I didn’t realise it was so late. I better be going too. Have a good night,”

Dan smiled,

“Yeah, you to Dan,”

He hung up and stretched out, wincing at his sore shoulder. He yawned loudly, feeling as though he had just scared the living crap out of any animals that might have been chilling nearby. His foot sank heavily into the wet ground, and he had to wiggle his prosthetic a put to pull it out. At least only one food would get soggy, he could already feel the water seeping through his socks.

. . .

It turned out Dan didn't forget about the surgery, and proceeded to pester him for the next few nights on whether or not he was going to get it done. Phil admired his persistence, and the worry he was displaying for him was sort of sweet.

"It's ok Dan, it's not that bad," he sighed after Dan brought it up yet again.

"If you didn't want my opinion, you shouldn't have told me. What would you be telling me to do if I ended up sick?"

Phil bit his lip and looked down at the floor,

"I'd tell you to go to the doctors,"

"Exactly, now when do you have to make the decision by?"

"Eleven thirty Tuesday morning,"

"That's like tomorrow Phil!" Dan exclaimed. Phil frowned,

"I thought it was Sunday?"

Dan tutted loudly,

“You better say yes,”

Phil groaned,

“But whyyy?” he whined. He could almost feel Dan rolling his eyes,

“Because it’s what you need, I don’t understand why you’re fighting it. If I was having a problem, and a doctor turned around and told me that they could fix it, I’d readily take them up on that,” He said gently. Phil’s shoulders dropped,

“What if you had already been in hospital a lot and doesn’t want to go through the mess of recovery. I mean I won’t be able to do that much for months,”

“Oh you’re so overdramatic sometimes. Also, you don’t have a job? I’d love to have an excuse to stay in bed for a couple of weeks,”

“Yeah but I still like to do stuff for myself,”

Dan was being very blunt, and usually it would have annoyed Phil, but he rarely found in his heart to be angry at the other man, and he did have a point. Phil was just scared, he just wanted this all to be over and it just seemed like that was never going to happen.

“Then use your other arm. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill, get the damn surgery. Do I have to come over there myself and carry you into the waiting room?”

Phil scoffed,

“As if you’d be able to carry me,”

“Don’t try to change the subject,” Dan replied accusingly.

“It is true though,” Phil muttered under his breath. Dan sighed,

“Look, I know if your mind is set that I won’t be able to change it, and I certainly can’t force you, but you have to at least promise me you’ll give it a proper thing through,”

Phil groaned,

“I have properly thought it through,”

“No you haven't, from the very start you’d already decided you weren't going to go through with it,”

Phil paused,

“That isn’t true,” but even he couldn’t stop the guilt from creeping into his voice. It was true, he wasn’t even going to book the follow-up appointment. Then why had he called Dan and told him about it? He clearly wasn’t going to listen to him.

“I think you told me because you knew you needed someone to change your mind,” Dan replied smugly. Phil nodded to himself,

“Ok, maybe I do. I’m just anxious, I’m worried something might go wrong or it will never heal properly,” He said quietly.

“Surely taking the risk is better than just letting the problem get worse,” Dan returned softly.

“If something goes wrong I’m going to blame you,” Phil replied with a forced laugh.

“I’ll take that risk, in fact you can blame me to your heart's content, just fix your damn self,"

There was silence for a moment as Phil closed his eyes,

"Ok fine," he sighed quietly. He could almost hear the smile in Dan's voice when he replied,

"Well done, don't back out on me now," he said with a light laugh.

"I won't, don't worry," Phil said softly.

"I seem to always be worrying about you," Dan responded, a warmth in his voice.


	6. Chapter 6

When Phil woke up, his head wasn't quite there. He was dazed and groggy, he couldn't string together a coherent sentence in his mind for the life of him. He squinted as yellow sunlight filtered in through swaying, pale blinds and his hands ran over crisp, thin sheets. He looked around tiredly spotting a figure moving around in the room, dressed in blue. Oh, that's right, he's at the hospital. He survived then, that's good. He wasn't fully aware of how much time was passing, all he knew was that he closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was both feeling a lot better and distinctly not alone.

“Oh, you’re awake, how are you feeling,” It was his Mum, although he was still having a hard time recognizing her. Maybe it was his pain meds?

He shrugged, immediately regretting it as pain shot up his arm. His mum sighed,

“Don’t move your arm silly, you’ve just had surgery,” she sighed. Phil nodded slowly,

“I forgot,” he replied hoarsely, “Did it go ok?”

She nodded,

“Yeah, from what they've told me. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you needed this. You need to share things like this with us, your father and I were worried sick,”

Phil rolled his eyes, but guilt bloomed in his chest,

“I’m sorry, I was being selfish I guess. I didn’t want you to know. I was scared,” he mumbled, not sure if he was even being understandable. It just seemed to come out in one long grumble.

His Mums eyes softened,

“It’s ok, I know how you are about these things,” she sighed, “Although speaking of keeping things from us, why do you have . . . ,” She pulled out his phone and checked the screen, “Fourteen missed calls from this person named ‘Dan’?”

Phil’s face flushed red, and he grabbed for the phone,

“It’s just a friend,” he mumbled. Kath raised an eyebrow,

“He seems to be quite worried about you, and he’s very polite,”

Tomato red turned to ghostly pale as the blood drained from his face. A nurse that was hovering around frowned and came over to him,

“Are you feeling ok love, she said kindly, you don’t look so good,”

Phil shrugged, once again wincing, and shook his head,

“No, I’m ok,” he said with a weak smile. The nurse nodded, not looking totally convinced,

“Ok, well call one of us over if you take a turn,”

Phil waited until she had left the room before his head whipped back around to his Mum,

“Please tell me you didn’t answer my phone,” he groaned. Kath shifted awkwardly,

“If it’s any consolation, I would completely approve of your marriage. He’s quite charming,”

Phil gritted his teeth,

“You shouldn't have done that, it was an invasion of my privacy. Besides we’re just friends, he doesn’t even know I’m gay,”

Kath gave him a sheepish smile,

“Yeah, about that . . .”

Phil squeezed his eyes shut,

“Please tell me you didn’t,” he said quietly, voice serious,

“He was worried about you and I didn’t know who he was. I got a bit carried away,” she replied, looking at the floor, “I know I shouldn't have, I’m sorry. He didn’t mind though if that helps,”

“I can’t believe you did that. Give me my phone,”

She handed it over reluctantly,

“I’ll just go and get you something to eat,” she muttered, making a bee-line for the door. Phil glared after her. She meant no harm, he knew that, but it didn’t mean he wasn't hurt. He needed to get out of that house, he needed to get away before his Mum reverted back to spilling his personal secrets to her book club like when he was a kid. Obviously back then he didn’t mind so much, but his personal secrets had gone from embarrassing childhood stories to real things that affected his life.

He called Dan, not really expecting him to answer. It took a couple of tries for him to locate the right button, and he seemed to lose concentration every couple of seconds, but eventually, he got there. A nurse came in to check on him, took his vitals and let him know that the doctor was going to be seeing him in a moment, but he decided he could factor in a quick call. Much to his surprise, he did answer, almost immediately,

“Oh thank God, I thought I’d killed you,” he exclaimed, relief in his voice. Phil smiled,

“I’m ok, I think,” he replied tiredly.

“You sound awful,” Dan replied quietly. Phil laughed softly,

“I’ve only just woken up, brain isn't fully loaded yet I think,”

“How’s your shoulder?”

Phil’s hand went there, a row of stitches adding to the scars from previous surgeries. It ached, like a deep ache, but the edge was taken off by the pain meds.

“It hurts, but they said it went ok,” He mumbled. Dan sighed,

“That’s good,”

“You called a lot,”

“Yeah,” Dan replied sheepishly, “I had a bit of a panic. I started to think ‘what if’. I mean I convinced you to get it fixed, what if you had died and I’d been the cause?”

Phil rolled his eyes,

“Thanks for the reassurance Dan, glad to know you had so much faith,”

“Hey, you’re worse than me, besides, you didn’t die. My conscience is clear,"

"That's good to know,"

Dan paused,

"Your Mum answered the Phone you know,"

Phil sighed,

"I know, and I know what she said," he spotted the doctor lingering around by the door, "Look, I have to go, I'll call you back in a couple of hours, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course, you get better. I'll see you then,"

When he put the phone down, the doctor took a few steps forward,

"Afternoon Mr Lester, good to see you awake and alert so soon. Are you feeling ok, any pain or discomfort?"

Phil shook his head,

"Well my arm hurts when I move it but I guess that's to be expected," he replied with a dull laugh. The doctor only nodded,

"We managed to fix everything back in place, we'll keep you overnight but after that you can go home. You have to do your physio properly this time though," he said bluntly. 

He did the same poking and prodding the nurse had done before thankfully leaving. His mum came back and brought him an overpriced sandwich from the hospital shop and a kinder egg. He would have made a snide comment about how he didn't want to be treated like a kid, but he really did like kinder eggs. She was ushered out a few minutes later since visiting hours were over but he made sure to thank her first. He was mad at what she's said, but he wasn't going to be an asshole, even if he really wanted too.

“All good?” Dan asked. Phil sighed,

“All good,”

The sun had long set and and was howling outside the window. His ward was almost empty which was odd. A few nurses and doctors wandered along the corridor outside, and machines and alarms would go off every couple of minutes. It was much calmer however than he remembered. He shivered when he thought back to when he had woken up in the emergency ward, the noise, the people. He was glad he could be alone for a little while, he needed some time to calm down.

“How was your day?” he asked, eager for an escape,

“Umm, I worked? Well sort of,” Dan replied, “Boss is still away so I didn’t do that much. I got a lot of cleaning done though, she better notice that. I don't get paid enough to do everything,”

Phil laughed,

“I’m surprised you managed to get anything done, you must have spent a good amount of time of the phone,”

“Hey! I told you I was worried! Plus your Mum kept me on the phone for a while. She’s nice by the way,”

“She told you some stuff that she probably shouldn’t have,” he murmured.

“Yeah, outing you was a bit of an asshole move,”   
Phil winced,

“Yeah,” was all he could think of, how could he even respond to that? 

Dan seemed to notice his uneasiness,

“I can forget it if you want? But I honestly don’t care,” he said softly, “It would be a bit hypocritical of me anyway,” he laughed quietly.

“Thanks, it would be a bit sucky if my only friend turned out to hate me,”

“If I hated you then you would deserve a better friend,” Dan replied with a shrug.

“So what did my mom say exactly?”

Dan giggled,

“Well, she asked me if I’d ever considered dating you,” 

Phil groaned,

“Oh God, she didn’t,”

“Yup,” Dan replied amusement present in his voice. Phil was beyond embarrassed, but curiosity got the best of him,

“What did you say?”

“I said maybe,” Dan replied cheekily. Phil smiled,

“Oh, you shouldn’t have said that. She’ll never let it be, she’s been trying to set me up with random strangers for the last year,”

“Has she not been successful?”

Phil scoffed,

“There isn’t a person on this island that would date me,” he snickered

“I’m sure that isn’t true,”

“What about you, have you got a special someone?” Phil replied teasingly.

Dan laughed,

“I don’t go outside enough to meet new people,” he giggled. Phil shrugged,

“You met me,”

“Yeah that was a freak accident,” he huffed.

“Not a bad one I hope,”

“No, of course not,” Dan replied, sounding slightly worried. Phil stifled a laugh,

“I’m kidding,” he smiled, “What do you do for fun then if you never go outside?”

“I play videogames, watch Netflix and lie face down on the floor contemplating all of life and existence. Just the usual stuff,"

"Ah," Phil replied in a raised voice, "A man of culture I see,"

A nurse sent a glare in his direction and he looked away sheepishly. He didn't need the whole building listening in on his conversation,

"Sorry, I forgot it's quite late at night and I'm in a public hospital,"

"Oh dear, don't get in too much trouble," Dan replied lightly, "How long are you going to be in for?"

"Only until tomorrow," Phil replied, "Touch wood,"

"Got any plans for recovery resting?"

Phil sighed,

"I'm not sure, got any recommendations?"

Dan hummed thoughtfully,

"Do you think you'll be able to play video games, because if so I have a whole bunch of recommendations,"

Phil shook his head,

"Maybe after like a week?" He said miserably, "My shoulder is going to be killing me for the next few days,"

"Ok, that's no problem. What about Netflix, if you don't have it you can share my account if you'd like," he replied quietly. 

"That's very sweet of you Dan, but I do have it. Not sure what to watch though,

"Ooh!" Dan exclaimed excitedly, "I'll text you my list. Then we can enthuse about them together!"

Phil laughed,

"Do you not get to do that on a regular basis?"

Dan scoffed,

"I told you, I don't have any friends. Do you think I'm just going to bring that shit up with strangers?"

"Oh come on, you've got to have at least one friend,"

"Yeah, I do have one, you,"

Phil tried to ignore the slight smile that tugged at his lips and remain sceptical.

"I don't believe that for a minute," he returned, rolling his eyes, "A lovely young man like yourself,"

"Don't say that," Dan said, disdain clear in his voice, "You sound like an old man. It's true. All of my friends were either from my home town or university. I quit uni and I hope I never have to go back to Reading in my life,"

"So you haven't got any in London?"

"Alright, Phil, way to rub it in. No, not really," he replied harshly. Phil immediately felt guilty,

"Ok, sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it,"

"No, it's ok, just a bit of a sore spot,"

Phil looked towards the corridor where a nurse was standing in the doorway, tapping her watch pointedly. He groaned,

"I've got to go Dan, nurse is giving me evils,"

If she was still listening, then she showed no sign.

"Ok," Dan replied, sounding a little reluctant, "Sleep well, get better. I'll talk to you tomorrow,"

"See you Dan," Phil replied, hanging up. He laid down on the uncomfortable mattress. He couldn't wait to be back home.


End file.
